Three Months.

I do so wonder what my incredibly sweet

husband was thinking in this picture . . .

Three months have passed since our

wonderful husband and Dad went to be

with his Jesus.

Difficult. Crazy. Wild. Happy. Sad.

Fun. Boring. Lonely. Fast. Slow.

Hot. Cold. Crying. Smiling.

So many emotions . . . just so much.

There isn't a moment when I am not

thinking about him and wondering just

what he is getting to do up there.  How

lucky he is to be fulfilling all of the plans

that our Lord has for him.  Yet.  It is

so incredibly hard to be the one

"stuck" here without him.  I look at the

boys and am happy and excited about

all of the memories they have shared

with their awesome Dad.  I look at the

boys and grieve for all of the time and

memories that will never be.  I think 

about myself, sometimes, when I let

that creep in and just cannot imagine

my world without my Mike.  I feel

like a foreigner . . . trudging along, trying

to make sense of so very many things.

Truthfully, I do not think that I even believe

that our Dad is just not going to walk 

right through that front door . . .

Three months . . .